Friends

This past week, two of my dear friends made their way over to Coeur d'Alene to spend some quality time with me. Kyle was my best man, and is my best friend. And my friend Greg was one of my groomsmen. Both of them are wonderful men, with robust hearts. It was wonderful, however, brief. Though it always is. When you have a limited amount of time to spend with friends that you are unable to imagine not having, the time you are given, never seems long enough.

This got me thinking about just how many people I have known across the span of my life; and I am only twenty-three years old! I have dear old friends from Seattle, friends from my time in Yakima (some of the best I could hope for), and others still in limbo here, in my home of Coeur d'Alene. But how fleeting these years have been. I say I have had many good friends. I recall years of bliss, of rolling around in the mud, playing prince and princess with many of my lady friends, running wild in the urban jungle I grew up in. I will always remember and be reminded of the great figures who raised me, and nurtured my wild little heart. Those that have passed, I respect with an unknowning. But now, I feel there are many answers to be sought out about my past. I can't help but feel hopelessly lost, disconnected from myself...whomever that is.

All I have are fragments and many contradictions.

Were we so great of friends? Perhaps. It is just not a friendship that lives on to this day. I suppose I must learn to accept this. It is a difficult pill to swallow, when I want so desperately to know and relate with all those I have known, to find out for myself (at this point in my intellectual development) just who these people were.